In a romantic moment, you hear yourself utter the excited words: “Let’s move in together!” There are sparkles and an embrace, and you start dreaming of what it will be like. But is it really time? Moving in together too soon can become a major hurdle to a successful relationship, so it’s important to make that decision for the right reasons. Take a look through our list of red flags to watch out for if you’re moving in with a partner for the first time.
You haven’t had “The Talk”
Are you exclusive? Do you see a shared future together? What are the agreed-upon parameters of your relationship? Even though you’re starry-eyed right now, it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page about where you see your relationship going before you both sign your names on that lease. This is one of the most important questions to ask before moving in together.
You have radically different lifestyles
One is a night owl, one loves early mornings. One is obsessively clean, the other thinks the floor is the perfect place for dirty socks. One loves to host gatherings and dinners regularly while the other is quite an introvert. Whatever the difference may be, a significant difference in lifestyle might be an issue that should be addressed before you decide to shack up.
You haven’t clarified the financial situation
Who is paying for what? Are you splitting the rent evenly? Can you both afford the same type of place? It’s better to be open and transparent about your finances before you move in rather than risk getting into fights later down the road. Financial stress is a recipe for relationship tension.
You still have some communication hangups
Honesty and trust are incredibly important in a relationship, but even more important when you decide to move in together. You’ll see each other in all kinds of moments — in sickness, in sadness, in frustration as well as love and triumph. Are you ready to be fully yourself, to see all sides of your partner, and communicate openly about how it’s all going? Moving in with your girlfriend or boyfriend is guaranteed to push this to the next level.
You hope that moving in together will change your partner in some way
First and foremost: any relationship that is still hanging on based on the hopes of changing someone is a bad idea. Moving in together in hopes of changing someone? Even worse. Whether you’re hoping to stop their eyes from wandering, make them love you more, or make them commit long-term, moving in is not the solution. Period. When should you move in together? When you are confident you love your partner for who they are currently.
You can already name relationship red flags
Most couples as they’re breaking up can name the moment they knew there were issues in their union — and it’s usually early on. If that’s you, and you already have significant doubts about your relationship, don’t move in. Proximity and shared responsibility are not solutions to your relationship problems. In fact? One of our tips for moving in together might just as well be “be honest with one another about your union.” Is this the kind of love that’s going to last?
Once you decide you’re ready to commit, it’s time to celebrate — then hire the best moving services at an affordable rate to make at least the logistical side of your move go smoothly!
