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Love is in the Air…or Not. How to Know When to NOT Move in Together

When to NOT Move in Together

There comes a time in most relationships when one or both parties think it is time to move in together. For some this happens within weeks; others date for years before making this decision. However, just because you think it is a good idea, does not mean it is. It doesn’t matter necessarily how long you have been together either. Some people are a perfect match right away, while others are together for a large portion of their life, but aren’t truly compatible or in the right place to move in together. When you are not ready, it will likely end in heartbreak. Couples are far more likely to break up when things do not work out than they are to just go back to living separately. Below are signs you should not move in together.


You’re Not Yourself

How comfortable are you with your significant other? Are you more yourself with the person who serves you your morning coffee before you have even had the chance to wake up? Keep in mind you will be sharing a bathroom, and there are bound to be mornings you don’t get a chance to jump out of bed and brush your teeth before they wake up.


Separate Goals

Do you want a baby in the next couple years, but your significant other is focused on moving to Alaska to live off-the-grid? Don’t assume that they will budge; neither of you should have to. If you both have separate goals that you are passionate about, moving in together is not going to change this.



Does your friends and family question your decision? If everyone thinks it is a bad idea and you find yourself making lists to convince them why it is a good idea, maybe there is a problem. You certainly do not have to agree with them. You are in control of your life. However, you do have to ask yourself why you care so much that they agree with you. Who are you trying to convince?


Compromising too Much

Is one person going to have to do all the compromising to make the move happen? If this is you, you should take a sincere look at your relationship. Are you already the one who always compromises?


Boring Sex Life

If you already have problems with your sex life, moving in together certainly will not help. You think you will have more time to be intimate, but are you sure this extra time will not translate to sleep, playing video games, or watching your favorite series on TV?


Total Opposites

Sure, total opposites really do attract, but that doesn’t mean they should move in together. If they are allergic to your cat or you hate how grumpy they are in the morning, moving in together is only going to escalate things.


Not Feeling It

You typically know in your gut when you are making a wrong decision. Maybe you even like the idea of moving in together, but something doesn’t feel right. There is a reason why you feel this way.



If one of you has given the other an ultimatum that it is time to move forward with your relationship or part ways, this is not a good situation. One will likely end up resenting the other. Relationships shouldn’t be about forced decisions. If you are both not fully ready then why risk the relationship to do it?



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Unpakt Team